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погана сука

You're my queen

As a friend of mine once said: "And we wonder why New Jersey gets such a bad rap. Thanks, V."


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26 September 14

"I’d love to set up an interview with you for sometime this weekend!"

Great, let me put away the vodka and lay out my boring person costume.

Posted: 10:00 AM
A selection from my “to read later” bookmarks folder

A selection from my “to read later” bookmarks folder

Posted: 1:04 AM
Posted: 1:00 AM

My brain is celebrating the arrival of fall! The other week I had a sex dream in which the sex kept being interrupted by members of the dude’s family popping into the room. They were all dressed in casual clothing but I’m 100% sure that they were all members of The Addams Family.

Posted: 12:56 AM

(Source: annachlumsky, via chantaje)

15 September 14
  • Kiddo, running out of her school towards me: I had the best day of my life today!!
  • Me: That's great!! What happened that made your day the best ever?
  • Kiddo: I found someone's wallet on the playground and I took the money!
  • Me: -_-
12 September 14

I had a disturbingly passionate sex dream about Adam Devine from Workaholics three nights ago and today he’s under my recommend people on Twitter. The NSA is tracking my thoughts.

29 August 14
I can’t do this any longer The vacuum left is so much stronger Judy, you know I’m not mad anymore

I can’t do this any longer
The vacuum left is so much stronger

Judy, you know I’m not mad anymore

23 July 14

My brain has been doing this thing lately where people I went to high school with are appearing in my dreams. Specifically, people I went to high school with who I have Facebook stalked that night. And, specifically, sex dreams. Only they’re weird sex dreams. Maybe I’m just not remembering the context but I think they’re all just whipping their dicks out at me. Like, Dan or Mike or whateverthefuck dude I didn’t even talk to once in high school are just showing me their dicks.

The thing is, you know how every person you see in a dream isn’t made up and is a person you’ve actually seen irl? Does this apply to dicks too? They all have the same dick. Whose dick is it? That’s the real question here.

4 May 14

Sorry, spring allergies, but I just don’t feel that you’re a good match for my personal brand. You’re fired. Security will escort you off the premises.

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh